Well, isn't this funny? It's been a
whole year since I started this blog and almost a whole bloody year since I
abandoned it. I swear by the mighty TARDIS of Gallifrey it wasn’t intentional!
But it happened. Like it happens sometimes. We’re all human here (despite all
the failed CAPTCHAs trying to prove otherwise) and to err is human. Same with half-broken
promises and busy schedules. Which, in a less vague way to put it, means life
got in the way of the blog. I did keep by my promise of being creative as much as
I could, but I broke my commitment towards the virtual journal I was so eager
to fill in. I did not record my comings and goings, my doings and undoings, but
they happened.
The year 2013 has been both good and bad, full and empty. All years are like that. There’s always going to be one thing we say “what if...?” about. For me, the year meant a whole lot of things and waiting to be done. For example, there’s been a lot of building new rooms and painting walls and redoing furniture and DIY-ing and all these things that are both exhausting and rewarding. But there’s also been a lot of sleepless nights and sitting on my ass wondering what the hell I am doing with my life. There were times I felt uninspired, but there were also times the muses slapped me in the face and gave me a boost of imagination! So, 2013... good and bad. 2014... Looking good!I do have some things I look forward to. Applying to a new school, meeting new people, moving to a new city, these are a bit more long-term, second half of the year. But there are things right around the corner to look forward to. I have decided I want to try some things out this year: being more organised with my time and activities, being more active, being more creative. Not that hard, in theory. I will try to plan out my time a tad better so I manage to work, be with the people at home, study for a Swedish language test I’ll take in the spring AND have some precious ME time. I want to have “me” time. I want to read and write and take pictures and design stuff and do some sewing and craft and watch good films and listen to good music and go on nice long walks and take it easy and just generally be the ME I used to be. It’s a lot of wants... I hope I’m going to do all of these things, because it’d be good for me.One thing I started is a double 365 challenge. I promised myself I will take one photo every day, one picture I will cherish from each day of the year to come. It’s not that big of a challenge. I also plan to take my Yashica out more often. One old-school analogue photo every day sounds good too. Maybe... Oh well, the second 365 challenge consists in me writing one full page of something every day. A tiny story every day. About 500 words is not that much, but writing is more difficult than taking pictures. Blank pages are the scariest. Which, in a way, is part of the story for today. I will not post the stories here, but I will give quotes, just as a teaser. Today’s story, however, I will post, because it will keep me honest to my promise.I do hope everything will go as planned. I hope I will do the things I want and be a better me. We’ll see. Happy New Year!
365 Stories
1x01: TRUST FALL
Beginnings are scary. Heart racing, pulse rising, head spinning, hands shaking, legs melting, we throw ourselves blindly into a world we do NOT know all that well. What makes us so sure it’s friendly? The weird noises and funny smells? Not that inviting at all, but we still dive head first into this awfully strange place we call our existence. Day in and day out, we try to swim through a pile of rubbish life throws at us and calls it “conflict needed to push the story ahead”. There’s plenty of hardship in store for the hero of the story, but that’s just what they need to grow into themselves. Going through heavy shit at some point in our life is inevitable, so why even worry before it hits us? Stress lines and ulcers, that’s what we get when we forget that there’s plenty of time to fret about the minuscule, tiny, average, big, huge or monstrous troubles that are coming our way when they’re actually landing more or less violently on our toes. We have more time on our hands than we originally thought. When we get thrown into this world, we have absolutely no clue what’s going on. We cry and we laugh and we are unaware of the immutable fact that we’re going to do the same bloody things for a long long while. Life, with all its ups and downs and rights and wrongs, is so much longer than we ever imagine. I suppose everybody thought, at least once, they could get hit by a bus and die on the spot, ending things sooner than planned (and with a bang). It doesn’t actually happen that often. All the worst case scenarios we play out in our heads might in reality never happen. Then we grow up and grow old and don’t even realise we’ve reached our 150th birthday because we ate some pill that promised to slow down the ageing process. And did. Now more than ever, life is getting longer and longer. I for one couldn’t possibly imagine how old I’m going to get (or not), because there’s too many variables to take into consideration. Disease, busses, and homicidal spouses could all end my life abruptly. Wonder pills, genies in bottles, and unexpected mutations could all stretch out the number of my years. Who knows anymore? At least one thing’s for certain: we all have to cross the start and finish lines sometime and someplace. Unless you’re an immortal jellyfish, there’s no other outcome than beep beep beeeeeeeeep... flatline. But it’s all the stuff between in and out that matter the most. We’re aware of that, most of the time, but we still worry our hats off for beginnings and ends. Once we get started with something, it’s not as hard to keep it going as it was to actually get it going. Blank pages are always the scariest. It’s a tough job, getting born, living life, doing stuff and stepping down. It’s a good thing unborn babies don’t know what lies ahead, because they might decline the offer to exit the womb. That’s the one beginning we have absolutely no control over. But the rest... well, it’s the rest that causes all the mess. Everything’s a mess, everyone’s a mess. It’s a matter of perspective. Why freak out for new beginnings when we know as much already? Just trust fall into the beautiful mess and buy it as is. I kind of did just now. It’s a good thing the doc caught me on my way out to the in. Waa! Waa! Waaaaaaaa!
- A baby’s first interior monologue upon exit/entrance
365 Photos
The year 2013 has been both good and bad, full and empty. All years are like that. There’s always going to be one thing we say “what if...?” about. For me, the year meant a whole lot of things and waiting to be done. For example, there’s been a lot of building new rooms and painting walls and redoing furniture and DIY-ing and all these things that are both exhausting and rewarding. But there’s also been a lot of sleepless nights and sitting on my ass wondering what the hell I am doing with my life. There were times I felt uninspired, but there were also times the muses slapped me in the face and gave me a boost of imagination! So, 2013... good and bad. 2014... Looking good!I do have some things I look forward to. Applying to a new school, meeting new people, moving to a new city, these are a bit more long-term, second half of the year. But there are things right around the corner to look forward to. I have decided I want to try some things out this year: being more organised with my time and activities, being more active, being more creative. Not that hard, in theory. I will try to plan out my time a tad better so I manage to work, be with the people at home, study for a Swedish language test I’ll take in the spring AND have some precious ME time. I want to have “me” time. I want to read and write and take pictures and design stuff and do some sewing and craft and watch good films and listen to good music and go on nice long walks and take it easy and just generally be the ME I used to be. It’s a lot of wants... I hope I’m going to do all of these things, because it’d be good for me.One thing I started is a double 365 challenge. I promised myself I will take one photo every day, one picture I will cherish from each day of the year to come. It’s not that big of a challenge. I also plan to take my Yashica out more often. One old-school analogue photo every day sounds good too. Maybe... Oh well, the second 365 challenge consists in me writing one full page of something every day. A tiny story every day. About 500 words is not that much, but writing is more difficult than taking pictures. Blank pages are the scariest. Which, in a way, is part of the story for today. I will not post the stories here, but I will give quotes, just as a teaser. Today’s story, however, I will post, because it will keep me honest to my promise.I do hope everything will go as planned. I hope I will do the things I want and be a better me. We’ll see. Happy New Year!
365 Stories
1x01: TRUST FALL
Beginnings are scary. Heart racing, pulse rising, head spinning, hands shaking, legs melting, we throw ourselves blindly into a world we do NOT know all that well. What makes us so sure it’s friendly? The weird noises and funny smells? Not that inviting at all, but we still dive head first into this awfully strange place we call our existence. Day in and day out, we try to swim through a pile of rubbish life throws at us and calls it “conflict needed to push the story ahead”. There’s plenty of hardship in store for the hero of the story, but that’s just what they need to grow into themselves. Going through heavy shit at some point in our life is inevitable, so why even worry before it hits us? Stress lines and ulcers, that’s what we get when we forget that there’s plenty of time to fret about the minuscule, tiny, average, big, huge or monstrous troubles that are coming our way when they’re actually landing more or less violently on our toes. We have more time on our hands than we originally thought. When we get thrown into this world, we have absolutely no clue what’s going on. We cry and we laugh and we are unaware of the immutable fact that we’re going to do the same bloody things for a long long while. Life, with all its ups and downs and rights and wrongs, is so much longer than we ever imagine. I suppose everybody thought, at least once, they could get hit by a bus and die on the spot, ending things sooner than planned (and with a bang). It doesn’t actually happen that often. All the worst case scenarios we play out in our heads might in reality never happen. Then we grow up and grow old and don’t even realise we’ve reached our 150th birthday because we ate some pill that promised to slow down the ageing process. And did. Now more than ever, life is getting longer and longer. I for one couldn’t possibly imagine how old I’m going to get (or not), because there’s too many variables to take into consideration. Disease, busses, and homicidal spouses could all end my life abruptly. Wonder pills, genies in bottles, and unexpected mutations could all stretch out the number of my years. Who knows anymore? At least one thing’s for certain: we all have to cross the start and finish lines sometime and someplace. Unless you’re an immortal jellyfish, there’s no other outcome than beep beep beeeeeeeeep... flatline. But it’s all the stuff between in and out that matter the most. We’re aware of that, most of the time, but we still worry our hats off for beginnings and ends. Once we get started with something, it’s not as hard to keep it going as it was to actually get it going. Blank pages are always the scariest. It’s a tough job, getting born, living life, doing stuff and stepping down. It’s a good thing unborn babies don’t know what lies ahead, because they might decline the offer to exit the womb. That’s the one beginning we have absolutely no control over. But the rest... well, it’s the rest that causes all the mess. Everything’s a mess, everyone’s a mess. It’s a matter of perspective. Why freak out for new beginnings when we know as much already? Just trust fall into the beautiful mess and buy it as is. I kind of did just now. It’s a good thing the doc caught me on my way out to the in. Waa! Waa! Waaaaaaaa!
- A baby’s first interior monologue upon exit/entrance
365 Photos
No comments:
Post a Comment